It's a great week!

it's been a great week. most of the things is going on smoothly... hold her gentle hand yesterday... kissed her for the 1st time yesterday... though she's still shy. especially when her sister is around. but i still feel it was good to spend so much time with her... but i feel bad for making her sleeping late every nite. because i dun wan to leave her each time i see her... she have to wake up 6am every weekdays.

like i said in my previous post, it's been a while since i had a feeling towards someone. i really hope everything will work out fine. i thing i like bout being with her is, i can be myself. i don't have to act like i am a saint... or a good person. i am who i am. i enjoy the fact that i can be myself when i am with her. not pretend myself to be someone else just to be close to her. i think it would b better if she knows my true character from the very beginning.

bits n pieces...

have been clubbing for the past 7 weekend... time to stop for a while. it's been a crazy 7 weeks. last week is a little bit different. last week i've been spending most of my time in kepong after work. not for clubbing... but to see someone. i've spend the whole saturday with her. went for a movie, then have dinner and after that went for some little shopping. i get her a little b-day present. her birthday is actually next next week. but she won't be around then. so... i celebrated it earlier for her.

it's been a while since i got feeling for someone. i don't know whether she's going to give me any chance. i've already told her how i felt. but so far, i haven't get any signal of rejection (thank god). so... i think i am going to take things slowly from now onwards. just in case i don't scared her away.

hopefully everything is going to be fine. wish me all the best~

in my life, there's a lot people that passes through. some leave a good memories. some leave a sad memories. but luckily most of it are leaving good memories in me. but no matter what memories they left behind, i still need to move on. the world won't stop just because of me. i still have to live each and every day. no matter happy or sad.

it's been almost 8 months since i broke up. the first few month was quite hard. but thanks to all my friends, i can easily move on with my life. maybe it's because i wanted to get over it too. that's why it's easier for me to heal. being single is not really a bad thing. i can go anywhere with anyone i like.

topic of the day....

today's main topic of discussion in the office is... who's name will appear in the termination list. the meeting yesterday had a very bad effect on all the staff. it's very de-moralising. everybody had lose their interest in doing their things right.everybody seems to be worried bout the situation. for me, there's not much point of being worried. if u r the unlucky ones that was chosen to be terminated, then it's too bad. but that is not the end of the world. i personally thinks that chances doesnt stop there. life must go on. just need to get a new job and survive.

from the rumours ligering around my field of industry, most big agencies is in frozen mode. the financial crisis has finally hit the advertising industry. most agencies is not taking in new people. to me, most agencies doesnt mean all agencies. my requirement toward the job hunting is simple, as long as the pay is worth the load of work and is sufficient for me to survive.

bits of me...

it's been about 1 month we've known each other... the 1st 2 weeks, we've chat a lot, we've been msging each other a lot too... it didnt lasted that long. then the chat is getting lesser and lesser... is it me or i m feeling u are trying to avoid me. or maybe it's bcos i've been quite busy with my works, and u too are busy with works... i'll have to admit that i think of u lesser and lesser. the feeling is still there, but it's not as strong as few weeks ago...

today, the GM call for a staff meeting. it's kind of surprising bcos we normally will b inform about staff meeting at least 1 week earlier. but today's meeting was informed 1 day earlier. today's topic is about the company's performance. the company is not doing very well. the finacial crisis has finally hit our company. so the board has decided to take a drastic step to counter the problem. the board has oredi decided 2 steps... 1) there will be a salary cut... with immediate affect. 2) they will be terminating staff... but it will only be inform to the involved party in 2 days time. basically, the most affected ones are the contractual staff, higher post people... nothing much i can do about thins... will have to wait until they announce who's going to be terminated.

Plain White T's - 1, 2, 3, 4

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Give me more lovin' than I've ever had
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin' mad, I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you

Give me more lovin' from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I've had, I'm so glad that I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

1, 2, 3, 4
I love you
I love you

this is a very nice song. feel so relaxed when listening to this song. now the song is stuck in my head...

Weekend

erm... dunno whether it's a good thing or a bad thing... the more time u have being alone, the more things u'll start to think about. for me, weekend is just another boring day to go through, unless of course, it wont be if i have some plans on mind. there's no difference today, been sleeping the whole morning. then didn't do much in the afternoon. just spend some time playing with my guitar. listen to some songs... starts to miss someone deep down inside my heart... miss someone that i m not supposed to... miss someone that wont miss me(i guess)...

then, in the evening went to play badminton... it feels good to sweat! after badminton, went for dinner. nothing special for dinner. after dinner, came home and watch movies, chat with friend. well, that's pretty much a whole day for me.... and here i am, writing this blog out of boredom...

无聊的星期天

无聊的星期天 没有朋友在身边

一个寂寞的人在街头走了半天

突然发现有扇门在我眼前

曾经常常到来寂寞时都有你在

你说快乐的时刻就快要逝去

你问我当分手是否会哭泣

我说我须要时间想一想如何回答这个问题

天已黑 和你守在一起

守着天空最明亮的星星

和你诉说我们的过去

和你谈谈未来你我会在那里

这一首歌我已经唱了几遍

你没有发现我静静坐在旁边

看着一切将要逝去我无奈的闭上眼睛

一阵风轻轻吹起 吹进你脆弱的双眼里

这一刻所有游戏都已暂停

快乐的天使都像戴着面具

其实每个人心里知道东天已来临

所有的开心伤心已渐渐随风而去

不能再掩饰自己 闪烁的眼牟已泄漏秘密

这一刻我们紧紧拥在一起

祝福的言语都说的不停

虽然这一切已到了终点

我想谁都不原就这样说再见

无聊的星期天 没有朋友在身边

一个人带着寂寞这一切又再重演

突然想起多年前的那张笑脸

又再次出现在我脑海里和你再次相见

记得你曾说快乐的时刻就快要逝去

你问我当分手是否会哭泣

我想我必须到了那一天才能够告诉你

词：黄伟强

曲：黄伟强

Another song composed and written by my elder brother.

Jonas Brothers - Love Bug

Called her for the first time yesterday
Finally found the missing part of me
Felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say

Now I'm speechless, over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again

I can't get your smile out of my mind
(I can't get you out of my mind)
I think about your eyes all the time
You're beautiful but you don't even try
(You don't even, don't even try)
Modesty is just so hard to find

Now I'm speechless, over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again

Kissed her for the first time yesterday
Everything I wished that it would be
Suddenly I forgot how to speak
Hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?

Now I'm...

Now I'm speechless, over the edge of this, breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again
Love Bug again

不懂为什麽

当他们突然说起关於你 我只有静静坐在旁边听
我只想知道多一些 关於你的东西

当世界渐渐改变了四季 当春夏秋冬都已成过去
在这段慢长的日子里 对你的感觉还是那样痴迷

我不懂为什麽 有这麽多的女子
偏偏让我选中你 让我对你动心
也许是因为一双眼睛
也许是因为天意注定

我不懂为什麽 有这麽多的女子
偏偏让我在深夜里 每晚把你想起
也许是因为已经注定
也许是因为我已爱上你

词：黄伟强
曲：黄伟强

this is a song composed and written by my elder brother. he gave this song to me a few years back...

it's complicated... maybe... maybe not...

when i see someone put their relationship status as it's complicated, it makes me think... wat's so complicated? i've ask myself many times. i come to my own conclusion... when u love someone, u want to b wit him/her. u'll miss him/her a lot. u'll wan to see him/her more often. u'll wan to include him/her in ur plan for future. when u love someone, u'll love without questioning the past. because the one u love is in present. the future is full of mystery. so i wouldnt know what will happen next. but i will oni hope that the person i love is with me in my future. when there is 2 of these person appear in ur life, u'll have to decide, which one do i miss more, which one do i wan to be with now...

i find it quite painful b stuck in a triangle love affair. been there, done that :) but mayb it's me... so far, i've gotten in many relationship that makes me the 3rd person. it's kind of weird that the girl i always fall for is someone's gf. up until now, i m still like tat =.="

oh well... just some of thoughts when i cant sleep...

I Miss You Like Crazy
Artist: The Moffats

I used to call you my girl
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that i never had

When i think of you
I don't know what to do
When will i see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl i'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

You are all that i want
You're all that i need
Can't you see how i feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real

When i think of you
I don't know what to do
When will i see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl i'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

This is quite an old song. but it says what my heart is thinking.

~Memorable Redang Trip~

went on a relaxing trip to Redang Island on the 15-17 May 2009... get to know 3 new friend who went on the trip with me. i went with 4 other. 1 is my housemate, wei li, and the other 3 girls. on the 1st day, i only got to know their name(Vernace, Emily, Evans) right before went on the bus. at beginning, it's a bit awkward... but soon after the bus start moving we got to know each other a bit better. Vernace is the most "ganas" girl among them. Emily is a bit shy in the beginning... but she turns out to b a evil & dangerous girl... Evans was the normal ones.

We took a night bus ride to Kuala Terengganu and reach around 4.30am, 15th May... we were a bit too early as the agent will only pick us up from the bus terminal around 6am(according to Vernace). so we went to McD to grab some snacks. then we waited there until around 5.45am... then she called the agent. then we found out..... actually the agent was already there around 4am! arghhhh! we got cheated by Vernace! Vernace also told us that the ferry will only be at the jetty around 12 pm... deep down inside i was thinking " WTF! we have to wait another 6 hours to get the boat ride???" anyway... i didnt really believe her... my instinct was right. when we ask the agent bout the ferry ride, he told us, we are leaving at 7.45am to the jetty. then will take a ferry to Redang Island! and again Vernace bluff us =.="

the weather is quite good... upon reaching the island... i look at the sea.... it was blue... the water is so clear that i can see the sand underneath. i m feeling exited already. we reach Redang Reef Resort around 10am.

upon reaching, we were given brief on the do's & dont's. i m actually quite tired from the long ride. but looking out at the sea... the clear water beach... all the tiredness is gone... i felt so relaxed! the lunch was served at 12pm... after having our lunch... we went back to our room(quad-sharing) to rest for a while and get ready to go snorkerling! the 1st session is going to Marine Park... this is the 1st time i snorkelled. i m actually a bit scared and nervous... but... whatever... i paid for all these oredi...

after the snorkelling session, we went back to the resort and had our tea break. after the tea break, we start to snap pictures... walk around the area... the we went to another resort. hmm... there is a sign near their swimming pool "Strictly For Laguna Beach Resort Guest Only"... then i told my friends... i dont like this rule, and i m going to break it... hahaha! so we went and swim in their pool!

after trespassing the other resort's pool, we continue to walk along the beach for some sightseeing. snapping pictures... snap here, snap there :) then we saw a group of people playing beach volleyball... so we ask if we can join. the group of people is friendly enough to let us join ^^ so we played for a while... until our hand hurts! hahaha! after playing beach volleyball, we walk back to our room, preparing to have dinner.

after dinner, we went back to our room again to have a baths and have a little rest... actually after bath i dooze off as we were lying on the bed to relax... haha! we don't really have any plan for the night actually. but around 9pm, there was loud music, good music! i was wake up by the music. but thanks to the music, wei li was awake... so... both of us plan to out and see what's happening? where the heck is the music coming from. at first we tot it was nearby. but when we went out, we found out that the music is actually from across the beach. there was a beach party going on. so wei li n me walk toward the party place, The Happening. the DJ was quite good. once reach the place, we bought a drink. i get myself a small bottle of beer... and wei li just drink coke... he's not an alchohol fan.

then we find a chair (for sunbathing) to lie down. i look up the sky... so relaxing... there were so many stars! then we thought of the girls! so i ask wei li to call them up... wei li called vernace, no respond... then called emily, no respond. probaly bcos the coverage there is a bit sucky. then wei li SMS them. in the end, only emily got respond. she was actually hesitating wether want to come out or not. in the end, she came :D at 1st, the music they put is nice, R&B and hip hop.. then it switch to house(which most people dun really like).

the crowd is getting smaller and smaller. the DJ realised tat, so he come up with erm... some activity... he ask all patrons to go to the beach, hold hands together and form a big circle. so... we followed his instructions from then on... the DJ put the chinese song for a movie(夏日嬤嬤茶) which actually made redang famous. can considered as the Island theme song(浪花一朵朵). so we walk(and a bit of running) in circle... walk to the left, walk to the right... the in the middle of the song, the DJ told us to run forward! as u can imagine, it's a circle, so when we run forward, eventually we will run into the person standing on the opposite side! it was so fun... everyone is enjoying it! then the mood is back! so everyone is back to the dance floor(actually is sand floor, The Happening is not a indoor club. hehe!) had a great time shaking our body on the beach... for the 1st time wear shorts n slippers to party... after tat, again we sit at the chairs n lie down to enjoy the view of sky filled with stars! then we went back to sleep... when we reach our room, i can hear Vernace snoring... hehehe... she must have been tired... it's not very loud... but still can hear it :P

the 2nd day, Vernace wake me up... i think is the 1st time i saw her shy face throughout the trip :P so as scheduled for the day... we went for breakfast. After breakfast, while waiting for the rest to get ready, Vernace and me went to a big rock opposite the room to sit and sunbath for a while. Then we went to snorkelling,.. nothing much special on this snorkelling trip. just that, i m not nervous or scared anymore. it's actually quite fun. after the snorkelling session, Vernace ask the life guard to bring us to see baby sharks... and the life guard is very nice guy, he did bring us to see baby sharks... but... there was no shark... instead, we saw a turtle :D After we had our lunch, some went back to the room to rest and wait for the lunch to be served. Emily didnt bath before sleep(=.=" eck eck). Vernace and me went to the beach, and have a nap. the wind was so.... comforatable.

We rest for about an hour. Then, we went for another snorkelling session. erm... the snorkelling session is quite tiring and fun. but quite dissappointed, because there is not much nice corals to see... right after the snorkelling session, another life guard bring us to find baby sharks again. this time is at another location. we find for quite a while... actually already given up hope to see baby shark. but... suddenly, we saw 2 baby sharks swimming around! i was so excited! After we are satisfied with snorkelling, we went for our tea break.

After the tea break, the girls went back to the room and bath. Wei Li and me went to trespass the Laguna Beach Resort's pool again :P Wei Li dived-in... so i wanted to try... and .. it's a painful try... we went to a jacuzzi. it was so relaxing. after swimming for about an hour, we went to have a walk at beach. then we bump a group of people playing beach volleyball. the group went to snorkelling with us. so they ask us to join them :) so we did :P after a while, the girls came and joined us. and again, we are snapping pictures here and there :D

after walking around, we went back to our room and prepare for dinner. today, they serve barbecue style... the food was nice... but the portions was a little too much. after diner, we went back to rest... Wei Li and me went out to the beach to sit at the chairs and enjoy the wind and the view. i dooze off... the wind is relaxing and it makes u feel sleepy... after about 1 or 2 hours... the girl are done resting and called us up and wanted to go play pool at the nearby resorts. so we play a couple frames. the girls can play pool...... ya.. they can just play :P
after playing pool, we went to a cafe, Summer Point, to have a supper. there was a live perfomance. they are great! i guess that should be one of the good performance i've seen at a cafe :) enjoys the music, the song they sing, their voice is just great. after finish our supper, we went to the chairs nearby to lie down and enjoy the view of sky filled with star... feel sad at that particular moment. don't like the thought of leaving the next day.... i m going to miss all the joy and fun on the island. i m going to miss Vernace... Emily... Evans.... everything....

throughout the trip, we have a lot of fun. eventhough i've known the girls for only 3 days, but it didnt felt that way. it felt like i've know them for years! i got specially close with Vernace, she had the charateristics that somehow attracts me, just too bad i know her too late... emily... she's a little bit slow to get along with... but eventually, we are close enough to call ourself friends. Evans, she's the quiet one. didnt really kept in touch with her. Wei Li... i see him everyday! haha! this is one trip i've enjoy so much!

a little updates...

went on a vacation trip to Hat Yai on the 26-29th Dec... It's quite a good experience for me since I've never been to any other country. It's actually quite true when people says Thailand is a paradise... especially for men. Anywhere you go, there is somehow a place trading sex(of cos it's not cheap). well, enough of that already...

Other than that, I like the food over there too. anywhere I go, there's people selling pork. Even on the roadside. Even in the McDonald's. The people there is actually quite friendly. I didn't do any shopping over there... Can't find anything I like... i guess...

After coming back from the trip, I know I can't be happy anymore. This is because I've made a decision. A decision that will hurt the one I love... and myself. A decision that been going on mind for long time. Do i really love her as deep as i m 2 years back? This is the question i keep asking myself... my answer is "not anymore". the feeling had slowly fade away from me.

Before I go more on my story... here's a little history... I know her through a friend in 2005. We started our relationship in the 2006. When we started the relationship, I know she had a bf... but she had problem with him, planning to break up... and bla bla bla... I guess you can get the story, right... after nearly 2 years, she's still with him. whenever I ask about the situation, the conversation will turn cold... I fully understand that as the 3rd person, i dont really have the right to question since i know it from the start. So I decided to tell her, if she cant make a choice by the end of 2008, it will be the end of us. not to threaten, it's just that I'm tired of waiting.

she was here in kl with me on the last few days of the year.. I ask her one last time, has she break up with him... she said no. then i ask, when do you plan to do so? she say dont know.

I think that is the last time I'll be asking her those question. On the day she leaves KL back to her hometown, I SMS her, let's just break up, dont have to force yourself to break up with him if it's too hard... we've oni been together 3 years, but with him, it's nearly 7 years. It should be easier to break up with me than him.

Now is the 4th day... I think I've receive more than 100 SMSes from her... which starts to annoyed me... in the SMS, she says, she already break up with the other guy actually in NOV. she's planning to give me a surprise in CNY. and actually she have also plan for next years trip to KL...

Some of you might think I'm cold-blooded and cruel... because I only reply her, i'm sorry, it's too late to tell me now. the feeling completely faded the moment i ask u the questions. After the sms, i still receive a lot other msg.

Anyone who's reading this, pls give me some advice.... TQ